Well my friends, we are days away from the kick off of the National Novel Writing Month (for details click here or check my previous posts). I find myself wondering if I want to compete this year, something I should have thought about earlier in the month. Time to plan and plot would have been nice. Then again, I have over a week so maybe I’m just making excuses. I like Nanowrimo a lot. It’ exhilarating to try and beat the clock and makes me feel like I am accomplishing something. That is, until I read what I’ve written.
Writing seems to run hot and cold for me. I’m passionate about it for a time and then ignore it the rest of the time. Sometimes I feel it is my great calling to be an author and other times, I could really care less. Why do I feel so uncertain about things? I’m not sure but it really does impact the work I put out. I guess seeing the fruits of my labor would help, but I don’t labor long enough to accomplish anything. Maybe I enjoy being an enigma. Who knows.
I did lose my job of six years back in July and haven’t found another one. Now that I have the time to write, I don’t. Kind of like how you tell yourself if you had more time you’d read more, workout, and write the next great American novel. Don’t bet on it. Days fill up pretty easily with chores, volunteer work, appointments, and navigating the general malaise that loneliness brings on. Part of the problem is that I have rededicated myself as a Christian and I feel many of the things I liked to write are inappropriate. Or at least I feel guilty about writing about them. I need to come to terms with that before I can move forward. I thought about getting a book on Christian novel writing. For right now, I’m going to really try to finish Turning Life Into Fiction. The exercises are great and really help me move along. Most of my work these days is journaling and I’d like to be able to pull something out of that.
For now, I’ll read that book and start plotting for Nano. Happy writing!